dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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