It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize