went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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