I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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