Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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