Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need a sexual gate keeper
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
