the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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