you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole