Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."