what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?