Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote