she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
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Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend