Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize