When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dating After Heartbreak
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea