Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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