i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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