You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
