end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize