I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
