BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.