Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.