I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Terrible idea I love it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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