She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize