I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
