Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
