i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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