do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
