I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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