All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
