remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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