he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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