Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
