even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My balls are so social today.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
