That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
