OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
