So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize