Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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