My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Found your dick twin last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
