Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
