can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize