Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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