Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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