i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
We're hate flirting, damnit.