i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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