i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
