it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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