the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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