I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize