Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis