she looked like the bat from fern gully.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!