very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
