You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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