Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize