He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
