I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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