They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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