Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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