I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
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What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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